My Time at Heather's House

This post is from Jessica Marks, a former SFLI intern and the founder of IIT Students for Life. This is about her recent experience working at a maternity home. At the end of the post, you'll see that Heather's House has some job openings as well.Enter Jessica...For me, being pro-life is not simply about praying outside of an abortion clinic, putting a bumper sticker on your car, or voting for pro-life candidates. Being pro-life isn’t even just about opposing abortion. To be truly, thoroughly ‘pro-life,’ one must embrace all stages and aspects of life. I’m not saying I have it all figured out – I have a long ways to go. Over the past few years, I have caught brief glimpses of what pro-life living can be, and it is beautiful and mysterious. I hope my experiences at Heather's House can inspire you to keep fighting the good fight. Believe me, it’s worth it!When I graduated from college in May 2011, I had no idea what I was going to do for the next year.I was engaged to be married, so I didn’t want have to find and furnish my own place for one year, only to consolidate everything after we were married. I also wasn’t a big fan of the prospect of moving back to North Dakota/Minnesota to live with my parents for a year.John-Paul Deddens told me that Aid for Women, one of Chicago’s pregnancy centers, was opening a maternity home in Des Plaines. They were looking for young, single women to live and work there as Residential Assistants. The position was exactly what I wanted and needed – non-profit, pro-life work, close to Chicago, and I wouldn’t have to buy any of my own furniture.Within a week of applying, I had had an online interview and was hired as the first Residential Assistant (RA) at Heather’s House by Aid for Women![Note from John-Paul: I remember how excited Jessica was when she got this job. Most recent college graduates would be much more excited about landing a job with a big pay-check. But Jessica is not like most people. As you'll see, she isn't just kind of pro-life, she's pro-life all the way!]So, I moved into Heather’s House about a week before any of the residents. It was very quiet, having an entire building to myself. In that time, I thought a lot about what the next year would be like – once the babies were born, would I ever sleep? Would the mothers accept me as a friend, mentor, or confidant? What had ultimately led these women to this place?I cannot succinctly describe what Heather’s House is like because it is constantly changing. At first, we had two RAs, several pregnant women, one toddler, and no infants. When I left, we had five infants, one toddler, several mothers, two RAs, and one house mom.I can tell you a little about the program itself, but words on a page will never do it justice. The mothers will usually move into the house when they are about six months pregnant (but that varies depending on each woman’s situation). They may stay for up to two years after their baby is born.The goal of Heather’s House is to build up self-sufficient women, capable of providing for themselves and their child(ren). The program includes life skills classes in areas such as cooking, nutrition, fitness, childcare, computer skills, Bible study, and sexual integrity. Most of the women also attend college. Heather’s House helps with tuition, transportation, childcare, and other needs that arise. Each mother has a mentor and receives counseling to establish goals within the program.Heather’s House is a place of change, of growth. The women come to the house pregnant, alone, frightened, or nervous. Their futures are uncertain.Some of the girls stay the full two years, others choose to leave earlier once they feel like they can support themselves and their child(ren). For most, this is their first pregnancy, and it’s amazing and terrifying. The mothers sometimes just need a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to listen. The residents and staff who live at Heather’s House very quickly become extended family. Cooking and other household chores are divided. Supper is eaten together every night (with reasonable exceptions such as school or work). As in most families, there is not always perfect harmony, but there is always a sense of warm, loving community. It is beautiful to watch the women embrace motherhood and the children grow and develop.I am now a married woman – the revelation sometimes washes over me, still catching me off guard. My husband and I are both practicing Catholics, which includes the decision to wait until we were married to have sex and embracing natural family planning as part of our relationship.One thing I had not expected when I started working at Heather’s House is how often this decision would be reaffirmed – not by witnessing the struggles of single parenthood or broken relationships, but by the mothers themselves. They would sometimes pause for a moment’s reflection, then say to me. “I’m so glad you’re getting married,” or “You’re doing things right.” At first it caught me off guard, but after months of hearing such statements, I would smile and reply, “Me too.”The wisdom of someone who has walked down a difficult road should never be overlooked. These were not women saying, “I regret my decisions,” these were women who knew the challenges of raising a child alone. They all have good days and bad days, but none of them regrets the decision to keep her child. They love their children wholeheartedly, even though it’s incredibly difficult for them at times to juggle all the demands of life.If you choose a truly pro-life mentality, it will permeate every aspect of your life. It will affect your relationships with other people. It will change the way you view the world. It will challenge you to put others before yourself. Living out thoroughly pro-life values requires sacrifice, discipline, and diligence. Sometimes you can do nothing but weep for the ones you cannot help. But I promise you, when you truly embrace pro-life living, you will also find unexpected joys in the triumphs of strangers.Ladies, if your current state of life allows you to spend a year at Heather’s House, I sincerely hope you will consider it. You will grow along with the mothers and children you serve. Can you make the sacrifice of one year to change the lives of strangers? I promise you, when you leave, they will be strangers no more, and your heart will overflow with the goodness of humanity.For Life,Jessica MarksP.S. You may find more information about Aid for Women and Heather’s House here: http://www.helpaidforwomen.org/The job posting for the RA Position is here.Heather’s House is also looking for a House Mother, here.Other Pro-Life Job OpeningsDirector of Operations - Woman’s Choice Services, Lombard, ILOver the next few weeks, we will be looking to fill the Director of Operations position at Woman's Choice Services. This individual handles all financial and business management issues. Please send resumes to info@womanschoiceservices.comMore information is available at www.WomansChoiceServices.comClient Services Manager - Women's Care Clinic, Danville, ILClick here for more information about this position.